why we do things

life is always interesting
sometimes
people come into our lives
to teach us things
that we are not even realizing
that we are ready to learn
ok,
that sounds a bit confusing
:P
it is amazing
how some people
can choose to view the world
in only their own way
or at least
it seems that way
maybe i even do that myself
every now and again

one can try to be very accomodating
however,
if one doesn't really want to do something
and tries to find a solution
to please all involved
often times,
without that... "presence"
without that desire and excitement
other people may become confrontational
well,
i am a person
who tries to communicate
in the other person's language
or at least
that's what i think
so,
here's the latest scenario
with circumstances on these beautiful islands
not being quite what some people expected
(not me, i love it here!)
it falls upon me now
to try to figure out how to make things work
they did spend a lot money to come here
and meeting up was one of the reasons for this vacation
however,
it was said before
that each individual could go off and do their own thing
and that would be ok
only it is not ok now
because one of the people
is finding it harder to do things than expected
and is frustrated
so all of a sudden
i find demands being made of myself
that are pushing me a bit when i'm tired
and when i know i need to just rest a lil

i guess i'm trying to be accomodating
but i'm so freaking tired right now
that all i want to do is sleep a bit
and rest up
i've had alot of freedom here
driving around
but it's a double edged freedom
as i'm the only one insured to drive the vehicle
so i've been doing alot of driving
so here i am
doing everything i wanted to do
some by myself
and some with my travel companions
it's all fun
but what happens
when i have a need to rest
but others have needs to fulfill
and are not able
to find another solution
that being said
life on maui
is very very expensive
and getting around on maui
isn't easy at all
and i can see how that limits one's options
now at the present time
i am alone
and shortly after this blog
i will go and sleep
to be ready and energized for tonight
but i have a few things to think about now
how far do i need to push myself
to keep the other persons in the group happy?
do i care?
i think i do care
and i think tho my solutions were reasonable
my heart wasn't quite in it
the "solution"?
-a compromise between
what some people could do
and some of the things we had to do
and just to make things clear,
i re-iterated
the compromise
and upon re-iteration
that made it "not ok"
maybe,
my desire not to do this
is "felt" or something
and thus they are responding to this
even tho i've decided i'm willing to compromise my own fatigue
or maybe,
that person is just being irrational
from feeling helpless in doing what that person wanted to do
or maybe it's something else entirely
and i'm missing the whole picture
oh well,
i'm a bit too tired
to think clearly
i will go to sleep now
*ponder*